I realize that marrying early means that you engage in a shorter search. In the age of online dating personality algorithms and matches, Americans have become well acquainted with the cultural (and commercial) notion that melding marriage with science will somehow assure a good fit. But what really matters for making marriage happen and then making it good are not matches, but mentalities: such things as persistent and honest communication, conflict-resolution skills, the ability to handle the cyclical nature of so much of marriage, and a bedrock commitment to the very unity of the thing. I've met 18-year-olds who can handle it and 45-year-olds who can't.I've long felt that the Match.coms of the world, with their pseudo-scientific personality tests, are dealing in old-fashioned bunk. Glad to see someone call them out on that.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
In light of my unfortunate obsession with marriage, I found Mark Regnerus' recent Washington Post article very interesting. Especially this: