Bristol speaks out

Still engaged to the highly questionable Levi Johnston, Sarah Palin's daughter -- now an 18-year-old mom -- is here to tell you that if you think your teen will make it through high school unsullied, well, you're dead wrong. Better ditch that stork story and bring out the actual truth before it's too late and you have an impromptu in-law. A related point: Bristol's labor must have been fairly painless, since

It was "harder than labor" telling her parents she was pregnant.

I saw Juno, so I know better. But it's a good line.